Butter On My Sweet Potato

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Posted by Gin on January 10, 2008

I am really into lists. It’s like a sickness, y’all.

But while I crave organization, I am also really, really lazy. Therefore, here are some lists from my other blog, carefully cut and pasted for your reading pleasure.

Things I Do That Drive My Husband Nuts

1. When I clean the floors, I:
-Move all possible furniture out of the room so that every possible bit of exposed floor is clean. (I don’t fuck around with my floors, man)
-Vacuum instead of sweep
-Insist on using a Clorox Ready Mop instead of an old grody Libman string mop as his mom does (*pointed look*)
2. I make a big mess when I cook
3. I am not that great about recycling plastic – I’m too lazy to walk into the other room to put things in the recycle bin, so I just stick things in the trash and cover it up. However, he will usually dig through the trash and wash off whatever it is and put it in the bin for me, so I guess it works out in the end
4. I shed a lot of hair (he’s just got to get over that on his own)
5. I drive fast
6. I’m pretty spendy
7. I talk loudly
8. I insist on people turning down/off the radio/tv when we’re talking to each other
9. I kick the covers off my feet when I sleep, and he likes his covered up
10. I hoard wrapping paper (but I am prepared to fulfill your gift-wrapping needs for any occasion – Hanukkah included! Even though we don’t know any Jewish people! But just in case!)

Things I Dig

1. New socks
2. When I’m at the store and my total purchase, with tax, equals an exact dollar amount
3. Tearing paper along a perforation
4. Taking a bath in a freshly scrubbed tub (that I didn’t have to clean)
5. Multiples of 5
6. Opening the door to pull yummy food out of the oven and letting the aroma hit you, all warm and comforting
7. Writing in large letters with a Sharpie
8. Putting on fresh, clean underwear after a shower
9. The sound of crunching into an apple
10. Leisurely, messy cooking
11. Wearing jeans to work
12. Christmas music after Thanksgiving
13. Stripes
14. Grilled cheese sandwiches
15. Using my clicky highlighters
16. Major chords
17. Folding a paper and making sharp creases
18. Big production numbers in musicals
19. Funny magnets
20. Going to a funny movie and laughing along with everyone else in the theater
21. Receiving postcards
22. Being deemed a “culinary goddess” by one’s coworker for the fucking badass from-scratch, still-warm-from-the-oven chocolate pecan pound cake you brought to work
23. Saturday afternoons
24. Soft hair
25. Rearranging furniture
26. Wings and beer

Things That Bug The Shit Out of Me

1. Obviously bottle-fake red hair that is attempted to be passed off as “natural” (Case in point, my mother-in-law. That should tell you a lot about her.)
2. People that insist on having long conversations in the middle of the narrow, busy hallway, and get all huffy and offended when people have to say “Excuse me” and walk between them
3. When people leave their blinker on for too long
4. Mussed-up eyebrows
5. Over penciled-in eyebrows
6. Women of A Certain Age that, props to them, are in great shape, but wear their jeans painted on. Pardon me; your junk just called, and it can’t breathe.
7. Men with long fingernails. Gross.
8. Half tucked-in shirts
9. When socks start to lose their elasticity
10. Pens or pencils put back in their cup pointy end up
11. Smeared ink
12. Leg stubble
13. Greasy hair in the workplace
14. Wet Band-aids
15. Watered down drinks
16. Televised car chases. Dude, they’ve got 20 cruisers and every new chopper in town on you – you are not going to slip away.
17. The smell of stale take-out in my car
18. When food runs together on my plate.
19. Public bralessness in big-boobie women (I’m not hating – I’ve got big knockers too, and never walk past the end of my driveway without strapping them down.)
20. At the beginning of TV shows, when they go “Previously on [x]…”
21. Condensation rings
22. When the toilet flushes so violently that it leaves water droplets on the toilet seat
23. Prime numbers (23…it’s a…prime number…get it???)
24. Yeah, I can’t end on a prime number, so…pastel colors

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2 Responses to “”

  1. zakary said

    Um, I could have written this list. Every damn one of them.

  2. Gin said

    That means we’re kindred spirits! Or at least equally neurotic!

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