Butter On My Sweet Potato

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Archive for November, 2010

Posted by Gin on November 21, 2010

G: “JOHN. PLEASE COME IN HERE. There appears to be a partially-dismembered baby tree frog on the living room floor. Please take it away.”

J: “Why can’t you get it yourself? Your boy [Not-So-Wee-Anymore Kitten] George brought it on for you anyway. ‘Look Mama, I brought you a present!’

G: (looks at George) “MAMA PREFERS CASH OR GIFT CARDS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.”

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Gruyere Potatoes (that I totally made up because I didn’t feel like looking up a recipe)

Posted by Gin on November 17, 2010

You will need:

  • Red potatoes, scrubbed
  • Bacon
  • Half an onion
  • Garlic
  • Gruyere, shredded

Preheat oven to 350.

Cut potatoes into roughly half-inch cubes. I leave the skin on because I’m lazy I read somewhere that there are nutrients or something in it.

Add cubed potatoes to pot of salted water – bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil potatoes about 3 minutes, drain.

While the potatoes are boiling, dice bacon, onion, and garlic.

Rinse out the potato pot, and put back over medium heat.

Render bacon for 3-4 minutes. Add onion and garlic in rendered fat. Moan a little at the awesome smell. Stir frequently, for 3-5 minutes, until onion is translucent (but don’t burn the garlic).

Add potatoes back to pot. Stir to coat the potatoes in the delicious bacon mixture.

In sprayed casserole dish, spread potato mixture. Sprinkle Gruyere on top. Be generous.

Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes.

Eat. Yum.

Fight over the leftovers with your significant other.

The secret to this is that EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH BACON AND ONION. And good cheese.

 

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Seven Steps To Heaven

Posted by Gin on November 14, 2010

1.  Go to the store.

2. Buy a loaf of fresh bakery bread and a bar of European style butter.

3. Rush home. No, faster.

4. Spread the softened butter on the bread.

5. Try not to shove the whole piece on your mouth at once. Close your eyes in ecstasy.

6. Open your eyes. Look at your profile in the mirror. Watch your ass grow.

7. Choose not to care. Butter another piece of bread.

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Confession: I am on Vicodin

Posted by Gin on November 11, 2010

J: Check out my kung fu moves. I’m the purple Power Ranger!

G: AWESOME.

J: If you were a Power Ranger, what color would you be?

G: I’d be polka dots – I don’t think there was one of those.

J: And what would be your Ranger Power?

G: BUTTER.

J: I think it should be that you can emit sonic booms from your big mouth.

G: That is probably more appropriate.

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Posted by Gin on November 9, 2010

I had my foot surgeried on last week.

I had my foot surgeried on last week, and I also started my period.

I had my foot surgeried on last week, I started my period, and then went to the infertility clinic the next day to have an ultrasound done (with a huge bandaged foot balancing precariously on a stirrup, with John, my doctor, and the ultrasound tech all in the tiny closet room with me).

I had my foot surgeried on last week, I started my period, then went to the infertility clinic the next day to have an ultrasound done, and went back to work today, and am now in the throes of Ha Ha You Thought You Were Done Just Kidding! Day Six Of My Period (Good Thing I Keep Spare Emergency Underwear At Work).

I had my foot surgeried on last week, I started my period, then went to the infertility clinic the next day to have an ultrasound done, and went back to work today, and am now in the throes of HHYTYWDJK!DSOMP(GTIKSEUAW), and tomorrow I go *back* to the clinic for *another* ultrasound, because in the past year I really have just not gotten enough blood drawn and poking and prodding in The Bits.

 

It has been an eventful five days (FIVE DAYS), and I am pretty effing ready to skip ahead to…I don’t know what.

 

By the end of this year, we should know one way or another what our road to parenthood might look like – and that’s just the crossroads, that’s not even taking the first step.

 

And with personal and family plans quickly filling up the calendar, we are rolling along at full steam ahead towards December 31.

 

And I’m scared to think that in a few short weeks, I will have some answers.

More answers.

And the ones I’ve had so far have been pretty shitty.

I’m praying for something good, something hopeful.

And that in that will be Direction.

Because I don’t have any right now.

I’m just hurtling towards Something, and hoping it’s more in the Soft And Fluffy Like A Bunny category and less in the Sharp And Pointy What The Fuck Do I Do Now category.

 

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I have the best dude of all the dudes.

Posted by Gin on November 3, 2010

From: John [John@distinctivecompanyname.com]

Sent: Wednesday, November 03, 2010 9:16 AM

To: Gin [OTHER DISTINCTIVE COMPANY NAME LLC]

Subject: Let’s go!!!!

Hey.  I wanted to inform you of a very exciting event in Houston that we REALLLLLLLLY need to attend.  Get ready for this.  It’s the international quilt show!!!!!!   Yeah!

We could check it out, and take your mom of course.  And we could wear our KMITB quilted holiday themed vests.  Eff the bike rally.

 

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