P.S. Dear Blogger, WTF with the wonky spacing. Love, Gin
Archive for December, 2008
Christmas 2008 – The Aftermath
Posted by Gin on December 31, 2008
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Posted by Gin on December 29, 2008
Let me digress into a backstory which, trust me, is worth it, so just stick with me here:
Tell me, are Jamie and I not the luckiest women in the country?
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Posted by Gin on December 23, 2008
And so today begins my much-needed not-quite-two-week vacation. The past month has kicked my ass, and I am very much looking forward to turning my brain (mostly) off for a while. As a precaution, I’ve posted a reminder:
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Posted by Gin on December 18, 2008
Yesterday was a much, much better day – the most in control I’ve felt in weeks.
I saw my doctor earlier this week, and I am on medication – something to take the edge off every day, and something to help when I feel an attack coming on, and it’s helping a LOT, but I have very little appetite. It’s worth it to feel capable again, like I can get out of bed, like my life is worth getting out of bed for. I know this will be something I struggle with for a while, but I have the support of my family, friends, and awesome blog peeps. I sincerely appreciate the kind words and thoughts – thanks.
In the meantime, I have a LOT of work to get done before I can start my Christmas vacation – so no more posts from me until next week.
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Posted by Gin on December 17, 2008
Is it funny or sad that it’s more acceptable to tell your coworkers that you spent most of yesterday with your head in a toilet than admit that you’ve been having panic attacks, yesterday to such proportions that you couldn’t get out of bed?
People can better handle the idea of someone vomiting than they can a grown woman that can’t handle her shit. Or am I projecting?
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Posted by Gin on December 12, 2008
A great big Thanks For The Awesome to Courtney over at In(side) The Loop for Christmas Mix 2008, currently the soundtrack to my (slightly buzzed) blogging. Hot pizza, cold beer, and Yuletide tunes – it’s a pretty damn good Thursday!
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Posted by Gin on December 12, 2008
Although there are still a few weeks left of the year, and I have presents to buy and wrap, friends to catch up with, and much more drunken Christmas carols to sing before the month is through, 2009 looms on the horizon – bright, shiny, unmarred, full of possibility.
It’s with a crying hangover blurring my vision, a slightly bruised ego, and a heart full of hope for the New Year that I present to you my list of resolutions for 2009.
1. Post more comments.
I am the WORST about commenting, y’all, and yet I’m still a whore for them on my own blog. Shower me with attention and witticisms so I can promptly ignore you! I’m sorry, you guys – I will try to be better.
2. Find a hobby.
J pointed out the other night night, as I was still wallowing in my pity party, that I really don’t have anything outside of work, which is probably why I brood so much over it when anything goes wrong – I let it define me. I was in a book club and a Bunco group, but both dissolved over a year ago, and I never found anything to fill that void. I need something else to distract me when the inevitable I-Screwed-Something-Up comes along again. I am open to suggestions – if you’ve found something you dig that helps keep you sane, please spill.
3. Make a concerted effort to be more spontaneous.
I know that I have always been this way to an extent, but the nature of my job has made me even more of a rigid planner. If Gin leaves her house at 7, sits in traffic for 38 minutes, drives through Starbucks for 4 minutes, walks through the parking lot for 7 minutes, eats lunch at 1:30, leaves work at 5:40, sits in traffic for 45 minutes, how many gray hairs does she sprout when someone disrupts the schedule and makes her late for some imaginary Home deadline? This drives J nuts, that I need a day’s notice to know if we will go to the grocery store on Thursday instead of Friday, because I have to reconcile it somehow in my head. Plus, it’s totally exhausting.
4. Toughen up.
Or, as the ever wise Jay-Z puts it, Get that dirt off your shoulder (words to live by, friends).
I am jealous of people that seem to waltz through life without getting too riled up by anything, or anyone (even if it’s an act). I have no poker face, and I wear my feelings in very close proximity to my sleeve. Sensitivity has its benefits, but it can be such a hindrance, and pain in the ass (see above re: crying jag). Maybe it’s something that comes more with age…in which case, I can’t WAIT to be an old lady.
What are some goals you have for the new year?
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Posted by Gin on December 9, 2008
Dear Universe,
What is the effing deal? Did I cut someone off in traffic? Did I accidentally kick someone’s dog or something? Was it that red light I sort of ran the other day? Because I can’t figure out who or what I have angered, and the shit you’re throwing at me is about to break me. Seriously. I am teetering on the edge of sanity. THISCLOSE to losing it, dissolving into a mess, and being escorted out by security. One more email away from walking away from this job. I Can. Not. Handle. Any. More. Please. Stop. It.
At Wit’s End,
Gin
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Posted by Gin on December 8, 2008
Just because I’ve had it in my head since Friday.
Down! Down!
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