I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:00] George has his mind set on me AGAIN.

Gin

[12:00] Dude, he professes his love for you…FROM BEYOND.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:03] QUESTION:

[12:03] You’re having the Beatles over for dinner. What do you make?

Gin

[12:03] Enchiladas.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:03] NICE!

Gin

[12:06] Enchiladas just came to me at random.

[12:06] I think it’s George speaking to me…FROM BEYOND.

[12:06] Also, who doesn’t love enchiladas?

[12:06] They are awesome.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:07] But they’re Brits. They may not be able to handle the spicy. Also, Lennon was probably some stupid vegan. McCartney is for sure.

Gin

[12:07] CHEESE ENCHILADAS.

[12:07] HELLOOOOOOOO

I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:07] VEGANS DON’T EAT CHEESE.

Gin

[12:07] Then screw ’em

[12:08] I don’t know if he’s *vegan* – I think just veg.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR MONKEY.

[12:08] I love it. You’re the elected person to bring two of the four dead Beatles back from the dead to have a single dinner party at your house, and you uninvite them because they don’t eat cheese.

Gin

[12:09] If someone comes to my house for dinner, I may not make them eat meat, but as God as my witness, they will eat cheese.

 

A Very Short Play

G: “It says here that NBC is canceling ‘Perfect Couples’ and replacing it with ‘The Paul Reiser show‘. Whaaaat?”
J: “Paul Reiser?”
G: “You know who that is, right?”
J: “Yeah, he was on ‘My Two Dads‘.”
G: “You’re so awesome.”
*High-five*

THE END

P.S. We watched the Youtube clip before I posted this, and John admitted to having a crush on Staci Keanan, which I think is adorable and makes me love him more.

You’d come if I invited you, right? RIGHT?

Gin

[13:47] We should have random hallway dance parties.

[13:48] Like, work-sponsored.

[13:48] I will send out an invite.

[13:48] I will bring my boombox.

[13:48] We will meet in the breezeway.

[13:48] And it will just be, like, a 3 1/2 minute jamdancebreakdown.

[13:48] And then we will all go along our merry way.

[13:49] Would you come?

[13:49] I would walk over and punch you in the face if you declined my invite.

Pouty McSourgrapes

[13:49] Can I sit in the corner and just play the acoustic guitar?

Gin

[13:49] You don’t play acoustic guitar.

Pouty McSourgrapes

[13:49] I also don’t dance.

Pouty McSourgrapes

[13:55] Go over by the microwave. If you can stand there for one minute and not want to puke, I’ll buy you a Coke.

[13:55] I think someone microwaved spinach. Seriously, it reeks over there.

Gin

[13:56] No.

[13:56] Because you won’t come to my dance party.

[13:56] So you can take that Coke and…

Pouty McSourgrapes

[14:00] I said I’d come.

Gin

[14:00] And be a DOUCHE.

Pouty McSourgrapes

[14:00] I just said I wouldn’t dance.

Gin

[14:01] You would try to be all John Mayer in the corner

[14:01] “Hey girl, I just wrote this song about the color of your hair.”

[14:03] “Hey girl, I close my eyes when I sing, because my feelings are so intense, I just can’t look at the world.”

Pouty McSourgrapes

[14:11] “Hey girl, I’m really sad about that thing that happened that time. You should comfort me.”

Gin

[14:11] “Hey girl, I’m trying out this new cologne, and would really love your opinion on it. Come closer, I sprayed it on my junk.”

[14:11] (ok, i’m sorry, that was too far.)

Pouty McSourgrapes

[14:12] That was good.

[14:13] “Hey girl, come on over here. And bring that other girl with you. And her sister.”

Gin

[14:15] “Hey girl, check out my puka shell necklace. It shows you that I’m, like, earthy and shit.”

Pouty McSourgrapes

[14:17] “Hey girl, come over here and I’ll make your dreams come true. As long as your dream is to hang out with a dude who smells like stale cigarettes.”

Gin

[14:17] “Hey girl, see my third-day stubble? It means that I’m not into conventional standards of attractiveness. But you know, you would be even hotter as a blonde.”